HOLD ON TO YOUR JOLY HORSES

A new television channel has been specifically dedicated to airing “Love Actually” 70 times a day. Sheer panic flashes across the eyes of every Australia Post worker, comparable only to that of Lindsay Lohan heading into a court ordered drug test. A sickly stream of glitter leaks on the breath of every wolverine shop assistant to gush “Need some help there? 20% off blow up Santas! I’ll put three in your bag!” before you can even string together a “I’m only here for the discounted candles.”

 It must be the start of November.

Halloween was a scream, Spring Racing carnival is well and truly run, and now it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas..way too effing early. At the risk of sounding like an overly cynical geriatric, back in my day Christmas decorating took place in December, Christmas shopping took place on Christmas Eve and you were lucky to get a “It’s A Very Micky Mouse Christmas” tape for your Sony tape deck, instead of iPads, iPods, iPugs and half of the Myer toy department like most kids these days.

I’m not The Grinch, I swear. But I can totally see where he’s coming from.

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Although I don’t condone engaging in decorating just yet, preparation is key to any well put together Christmas do. So here’s some inspo to get those festive juices flowing….ready for unleashing in DECEMBER.

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