They say you can tell a lot from what a girl keeps on her beside table. For example, if a girl keeps a handgun on her bedside table, you need to haul ass out of there because that girl is packing heat. Mine is a little more boring than that – discount beauty products (is there any other kind?) and random accessories that otherwise don’t have a home.

I’m very proud of myself, I didn’t style this at all.

Okay, so that was only a half lie. The bedside table itself was maybe probably definitely covered in a thin layer of dust, so technically I picked everything up and put it back down again. I could say, ‘Please, overlook the mess, this is not what it usually looks like, it’s usually beautiful and sleek and eclectic chic!’ but that would be a full lie. I like to use the word ‘accessible’ rather than ‘messy’…but ‘accessible’ an interior design masterpiece does not make. Nevertheless, here is the contents of my bedside table.

Marc Jacobs “Oh, Lola!” perfume smells kinda fruity and spicy…I’m definitely not either of those things so looking for a new personality embodiment plz.

I use Thursday Plantation Macadamia Oil, together with Moroccan Oil Treatment, for my hair, which is frankly comparable to a bird’s nest unless it’s smothered in the stuff… OR for my legs, if I’m feeling rebellious.

Natio Wellness Hand Cream SPF15+ is BRILLIANT for winter dry skin

Arbonne FC5 Moisturising Night Crème works wonders for my sandpaper skin, and smells great!

A miscellaneously branded lemongrass candle – It makes my room smell like heaven, so it’s a shame I have no freaking idea where I got it from.

Burts Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Oil …think of the best smelling thing you’ve ever smelt and then multiply it by a billion jillion and you might come close to this.

My Nixon ‘The Kensington’ Rose Gold Watch was a 21st present, it looks good but probably doesn’t smell great.

Ring (from miscellaneous origins)

Sunglasses from Eumundi Markets

A mysterious green box!*

*full of boring things like Panadol and paw paw ointment. Soz.

I promise you inside the drawer is nothing interesting, or even half interesting, just stockings, granny undies, a bunch of mismatched socks and some spanks.

My other beside table has a lamp, a glass of water and a stick of Yes to Carrots Lip Butter. As you can see I’m quite the dry-skinned party animal snore with an unhealthy addiction to smells. Tonight check out your bedside table and try and figure out what you keep within an arms reach says about you.